Congratulations! I'm writing this letter to inform you that you've officially earned the title of "Loudest neighbors I've ever had!"
Listening in on some of the most vulnerable moments of your life (i.e. hellacious fights, bumpin parties, and nights that I'm frankly too embarassed to mention...) was a real adventure. Although actual decibel level has not yet been recorded, you've blown all other contestants out of the water in terms of noise and intensity. A true accomplishment.
It's been a pleasure getting to know you without ever actually seeing your face. However, I hope you wont take personal offense when I say that you are not one of the factors that will be missed in our upcoming relocation.
Katie Teresa Johnson